


Hey kids lets rob a bank!

by impatientseamstress



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Anonymous prompt, Bank heists, F/M, Megamind and Roxanne are godparents to half the criminal's kids in Metro City, Megamind is a jolly old crime grandpa with negative fucks to give, Old Married Couple, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Tumblr ficlet, and are still disgustingly in love, couple of freaking dorks, domestic supervillainy, his beard grew in like his dad's, they give the best presents, this is important for absolutely no reason but I want you all to know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:20:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impatientseamstress/pseuds/impatientseamstress
Summary: As a supervillain its important to keep your hand in, even in your old age.
Relationships: Megamind/Roxanne Ritchi
Comments: 15
Kudos: 74





	Hey kids lets rob a bank!

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the prompt: Megamind in his old age with negative fucks to give. A jolly old crime grandpa kicking in the doors of the Very Important Crime Boss Meeting like "HEY KIDS LETS ROB A BANK!" and then during the actual heist they just steal all the pens and leave.

“I asked you to get me a pen!”

“I did get you a pen! I got you every pen they had!”

“I meant from the mug in my office! Not to rob a bank!”

“Why not? It’s not like everyone doesn’t use e-signatures now anyway. They only had pens to be pretentious. And look! This one has colour changing ink!”

“Its very pretty love, but that was a very concerning phone call I got from Nikolai Tarankov after you burst into his meeting and snatched up half the attendees for a surprise bank robbery,”

“It was Vasily’s birthday, I promised him something special.”

Roxanne eyed him over her spectacles, silver hair with a bright blue streak rumpled messily from where she had been running her fingers through it (Roxanne had delighted in going grey, it meant she didn’t need to pre-bleach her hair anymore) and sighed, “You realise you’re going to have to do the same thing for all of them now.”

“You say that like its a bad thing,” Megamind leant on his cane (its not a cane Minion its an emergency laser rifle that just so happens to be disguised as a cane) and grinned at her.

“It is,” But she’s smiling as she says it, “I know you’re godfather to half the hench’s kids in the city but did you have to actually dress like Marlon Brando?”

“You don’t like it?”

“I never said that,”

Megamind held out his arms and tweaked the cuffs of his three piece suit, “I thought about wearing the tux but it didn’t seem fair when I didn’t give the rest of them warning about dressing the part.”

Above a sharp beard that was more salt than pepper these days (Megamind had not delighted in going grey, no matter how much Roxanne said she liked it), one bright green eye winked at her roguishly. The other, an integrated prosthetic linked to the data streams in the lair, was hidden behind an eyepatch that Roxanne knew full well he wore for show.

“I suppose Vasily enjoyed himself?” She asked in amusement.

“He absolutely did. I even let him have first pick of the pens.”

“You really shouldn’t encourage them,” Roxanne tucked her soft purple cardigan around her shoulders and curled up further in her favourite armchair.

“I know but they all did so well I’m taking them out for ice-cream to celebrate.”

“You’re taking half the Tarankov gang out for ice-cream for doing well at a bank robbery?”

“That was the deal if they didn’t shoot anybody. Besides it just the boys,” He shrugged carelessly “The girls were at Mama Goldhand’s. Something about Svetlana’s wedding,”

“I know, we accepted the invitation to that by the way.”

“Oh excellent,” He took her hand and kissed it, “I do love an excuse to dance with my Evil Queen,”

She pressed a kiss to his palm in return, “As opposed to your usual excuse of its a day ending in Y?”

“I like to stay unpredictable”

“Of course you do,”

“Anyway, the girls are going to be jealous so I promised we’d visit the art museum next week.” He kissed her cheek and headed for the door, “I’m off to meet with them about it after ice-cream.”

“Oh they’ll love that…wait why are you taking them to the art museum?”

“Sorry darling I didn’t hear you! Must need to update my hearing aids,”

“You refuse to wear your hearing aids!”

“I know! It makes it very easy to win arguments when you can’t hear what the other person is saying.”

Roxanne huffed and rolled her eyes, taking up the pen with the colour changing ink to finish her crossword, “As long as you get me a miniature version of the Venus de Milo from the giftshop.”

“Venus de Milo! Got it!”

“Miniature! Miniature Venus de Milo!”

“I’m sorry I can’t hear you! Must be the hearing aids! I’m going to assume you said you still find me devastatingly handsome and love me just as much as you did fifty years ago and intend to prove it to me as thoroughly as possible on my return!”

Roxanne snorted and wrote down a seven letter phrase for professed adoration, “Genius,” she muttered smiling, “If anything I love you more.”


End file.
